Thinking...

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about our next steps in the TTC process. We took September to try the old fashioned way again, but since my period showed up this week, I think it is safe to say, it's not going to be that easy!
Our choices are limited...we can either try on our own (which we have done for over a year and clearly it's not working), I can have the laparoscopy surgery so that the doctor can see what's going on in my reproductive region (which he thinks is probably endometriosis) or I can go forward with our last, insurance covered IVF (since the doctor told me the surgery won't improve an IVF cycle anyway).
I have been worried about going ahead with a second IVF cycle so soon because this is our last cycle that would be covered by insurance and paying out of pocket would be pretty much impossible for us, leaving me feeling extremely hopeless. The doctor also didn't sound very confident that the second IVF would be the ONE, which is super motivating obviously, but as I was driving to work today, I was thinking about it and I decided very quickly that going forward with a second IVF is the way I need to go right now.
J and I have a goal to move out of state and we are hoping this will be in the fairly near future, which obviously means new jobs and new insurance. As I was going back and forth about IVF or surgery, I realized as hopeless as it probably is, I need to just go ahead with the IVF while I have that coverage, since I obviously don't know what future insurance coverage will be and I think the surgery will be easier to get covered in the future. I don't want to move and "waste" an insurance covered IVF cycle and always wonder "what if".
I called my RE's office today and spoke to a nurse about starting a new cycle, so she is going to speak to my doctor and they will decide what my protocol will be (whether he will stick with the same meds or change them), though I know he is planning on doing ICSI (individually injecting a sperm into each egg to hopefully increase the number of embryos I get) and holding me a little longer while on Follistim to potentially increase my chances of having even more mature eggs.  If all gets sorted this weekend, hopefully I can get started on CD21 of THIS cycle. I am anxious to start sooner rather than later because we have a week long vacation planned for thanksgiving and I am not really supposed to travel during IVF since I need the frequent blood work and ultrasound monitoring.
Hopefully all goes smoothly, though this cycle holds a lot more anxiety than the last one, especially because I know what happens now.
For now, everything is crossed and I will try to remain hopeful and push my negative doubts to the back of my mind.