Ahhh! Needles!

I have been having more and more anxiety about this whole process. I feel like I was doing well and not stressing too much until that nurse hurt my arm on Monday, and now I am having some serious needle anxiety. I had to return to the office for more blood work and another ultrasound today, to check on the progress of my follicles and check my blood levels (the other day my estrogen was rising too fast which is why they lowered my dose) and when I got to the office, I started feeling really panicky thinking about getting the same nurse for blood work again. I originally didn't want to start any drama and be "that girl" at the doctor's office, but seeing my arm this morning (still sore and stiff and now seriously bruised), I just could not have that woman again, so I whispered to the receptionist to make sure I didn't get Nurse Butcher today.

The bruising on my arm this morning (2 days later)

I was so happy to see my usual nurse come around the corner, and when I showed her my arm, her response was "Whoa! you don't usually bruise!". I told her what had happened and the pain that shot up my arm and how sore and stiff it has been since then, so she took a look and felt it and said there is even a lump under my skin where blood probably built up.  She thinks the other nurse hit one of the tendons in my arm and that is why it was so painful and bruised. So much for being discreet about my IVF when my arm looks like a heroin addict's arm and it's the middle of summer so I am certainly not wearing cardigans!
So the results from today: My follicles had grown since Monday, but are still small and need more time (tonight will be my 6th dose of Follistim) and apparently my estrogen levels were up as well because they lowered my dose of Follistim AGAIN. So lower dose of Follistim now and go back for more blood work and another ultrasound on Friday. I am a little disappointed that my follicles are still small, even though the doctor didn't seem concerned. He said we will probably be looking at egg retrieval for late next week. Slow and steady wins the race hopefully!

 

I also started going to a new acupuncturist today, since I have been reading about how there are studies that say it can increase the chances of pregnancy with IVF when acupuncture is done the day of embryo transfer. I have gone to acupuncture before all of this, but I decided to change doctors for IVF since I knew my doctor worked with this new one. The acupuncturist I met with today seemed nice and seemed to know what she was doing with regards to IVF and said they have worked with a lot of patients from my RE's office which is good to hear. I was still anxious even thought I have never had a problem with acupuncture before because of all the pain and needles I have had lately, and when I got on the bed, she stuck a needle in my leg and I nearly shot threw the roof! She must have hit a nerve or something because my leg started throbbing and pulsing and I actually had to call her back into the room to remove it when she was done with the other needles. After that, I just couldn't relax and was just anxiously sweating and counting the seconds till I was done. So not what I am used to with acupuncture, but everything is hyper sensitive right now and I am hyper emotional and hormonal on top of it! UGH. Now going to acupuncture is going to stress me out...yet another thing to make me anxious! Can someone just wake me up when this is all over and I am knocked up?

 



That's so stimulating!

So, since my last post, I have gotten my period, had two more ultrasounds and blood work and I started my Follistim on Friday. Just a recap: the Follistim will stimulate my ovaries and hopefully help them produce a bunch of follicles and therefore, a bunch of eggs!

This is how I picture it.

I was excited to start the Follistim, since this means I am one step closer to getting that baby, but the excitement ended when I did my first shot and the Follistim pen didn't function the way I expected it to. I pinched my skin (as I am supposed to), and stuck the needle in, but when I tried to push down the plunger button to release the medication, it wouldn't move, and I ended up having to hold the pen with one hand, while slowly twisting the plunger down. This is very difficult to do, while trying to hold the pen still inside my skin! That night and the night after, I got painfully bloated, to the point where I already looked pregnant, and it hurt so bad, I wanted to cry! I have been chugging Powerade/Gatorade to combat the bloat and so far it has helped, so I guess I will just have to continue doing that throughout the rest of this process and hopefully I don't end up getting overstimulated (OHSS).

Let's get these ovaries movin!

J started his medications on Friday as well...not fair.

Today, I had my first monitoring appointment since starting the Follistim and the nurse seriously hurt my arm doing my blood work. I can barely move it still and it happened hours ago. By the time I got to my ultrasound, my arm was throbbing so bad, I about cried in front of the doctor!

Love looking like a drug addict

The ultrasound showed "a bunch" of follicles but they are still small, which is expected after only three days of the stims, but my blood work apparently showed something (they didn't say what) and they have already lowered my dose of nightly medication. They didn't say anything was wrong, but I can't help but be worried about this when I have only had three doses and I should be on the stims for around 10 days. STRESS! Here is a video of my slow Follistim torture. Super fun....

 

Anyway, I go back for another monitoring appointment on Wednesday and I am PRAYING I don't get the same nurse because I only have one good arm left!

 

Thanks for reading my stress ramble!

Parker is having a better day than I am, obviously.



Nothing significant...

I just wanted to share what I made for dinner last night. It looked so perfect and was so delicious! I was very proud!

Jalapeno popper chicken with smashed potatoes and sweet corn! Lots of starch but totally worth it!



 

And just because he's cute, here's a picture of Parker from this morning.

Likes to sleep in...perfect dog!

**Otherwise, still waiting on my period to get this show on the road!

Twiddling my thumbs!

So, I am trying to keep myself busy, but I still can't get my mind off of all the waiting I seem to be doing. To start the cycle, I had to wait to ovulate and now that I have started the Lupron, I have to wait till my period shows up before I can start the Follistim, to stimulate my ovaries. That's where the real action begins and I want to get this show on the road! I have now been on the Lupron for 10 days and I just ready for the next phase to begin. I know it is abnormal to wish for your period when you are trying to get pregnant, but I hope it shows up in the next few days!

There have been a few people asking questions about IVF (which I am absolutely happy to answer what I can), and so I thought I would include this video I found on youtube. It gives a general explanation of the IVF process and even though the details of meds are not my exact protocol, you will get the gist of what IVF is all about and what I am and will be going through, throughout this process.

 



As for trying to keep busy, we decided to go to a drive-in movie last night and this was my first time going to one since I was maybe 8 or 9! It was fun to bring Parker and have us all watching a movie, while relaxing with some snacks in the car...something different to do. We saw Grown-Ups 2, which was funny, but I think I preferred the first one and it wont be on my list of movies I'd like to see again.

Parker with the movie screen behind him



Car cuddles



Ice cream trips have also made a more frequent appearance on our agenda. On Friday night after dinner, we took a quick drive to Dairy Queen, where we sat outside on their tables to enjoy a treat! We brought Parker along for the drive (as usual, I know) and they even offered him some ice cream! You can imagine his excitement when he saw a cookie in it and realized it was just for him! Everyone there enjoyed watching him lick up every last drop of ice cream and have a white, ice cream covered beard afterwards.

Anyway, that's basically it for today...nothing much to report until I can start the Follistim and see how my ovaries respond to that. Hopefully soon!









First week of Lupron completed!

Walking with Parker in the park

 

So today was my 7th Lupron shot and it is still going okay. Been having some crankiness and insomnia (which I already have issues with), but other than that, everything feels pretty normal. It feels like the last week went pretty quick, so I am hoping it continues to fly by and we get to the point of hearing a precious little heartbeat, sooner rather than later!
The next steps right now, are continuing the Lupron shots and waiting for my period to show up so I can get my blood work and ultrasound and they decide when I can start the Follistim, to get these ovaries hustling!

I have been trying to make sure we do/eat things during the week to keep myself occupied and active. We take Parker for a walk in the park every evening (weather permitting), which feels good. A walk helps me clear my head and I want to stay active as long as I am physically comfortable, especially while the warm weather is upon us!
 I also convinced J (didn't take much!) to take me for ice cream one night and we had yummy pizza last night for dinner! Just some treats to keep me going!

Even Parker enjoyed some ice cream with us! Because of course, I include him whenever I can.

Giving him some licks when I was done.



We have also had our couch potato moments and have been watching episodes of Downton Abbey from Netflix. Parker loves being a couch potato as well, though I don't think he finds Downton so exciting.  We are going to need a new show to find on Netflix soon, because we only have two more episodes of D.A.!

Bored and Sleepy

 

 

 

***If anyone knows how to put photos next to each other in a row, instead of haphazardly across the page, please share! It is getting on nerves!

Sunday Cooking

I woke up this morning after doing my shot of Lupron and I just wanted to cook (and EAT!).
I looked through my cupboards and remembered I had all of the ingredients for some banana pancake bites for breakfast! They are deliciously simple and quick to make and also quick to eat. I think I could have eaten all 24 of them, but I had to share with J (and Parker). These bites are only 1 Weight Watchers point each, so when eaten in moderation (not stuffing your face like I did), they make a great, point friendly breakfast.

 

For lunch, I decided to make some homemade pizza rolls/logs from eggroll wrappers, string cheese sticks, turkey pepperoni and pizza sauce. These things are addictive and I have them for lunch almost every day! The crunch and the flavor are the BEST!

 

 

Right after lunch, I started on dinner! I decided to make spaghetti and meatball "nests", which always take me a little while to do, since there are a few steps to them! First I got down to rolling the meatballs and baking them, then I boiled the pasta and prepped the nests and then when everything is cooked and baked, you put them together for the most adorable meal ever. It helps that they are totally tasty and give you that pasta fix, while still in a good portion size. They are 4 Weight Watchers points each and quite filling, so you definitely don't feel like you're starving. I add a vegetable side, just to give myself something extra.

 

 

 

 

As for an IVF update, tomorrow will be my 4th shot of Lupron and so far they are going well. The worst part so far is having to wake up early to give myself a shot (half asleep I might add) and I have been feeling a little achy in my abdomen, but not in the spots where I am actually doing the injections. It's an internal, crampy, muscle ache kind of feeling. Oh well....3 down, a million to go!

 

 

 

Sh*t just got real!

So, I went in for my blood work at the crack of dawn this morning...that was fun. Since the blood work showed that I did in fact ovulate already, they left a message for me in my IVF voicemail box to say I should start my Lupron this afternoon. They told me the Lupron should be done between 6-8am so I kind of thought I had until tomorrow morning, but they said the first one in the afternoon was fine, to get me started!
J doesn't get home till after 7pm nights, so I knew it would be too late if I waited for him and I just had to suck it up and do it. I totally worked myself up and was shaking...(I almost forgot to wash my hands!) but I finally got everything set up on a paper towel on my table, loaded up the needle and just jabbed myself really fast! I was surprised at how easily the needle went in, I may have jabbed a little too hard thinking there would be resistance or something, but I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't AS bad as I had made it out in my head. I am hoping I can continue being pleasantly surprised, though I fully expect to be sore when I run out of spots to stick myself!

My prep napkin

The actual shot was not bad at all, because it's a pretty small, thin needle, but I am feeling a little crampy now and I am not sure if that is the shot or a coincidence...I guess I just hope it isn't like that the whole time!


Injection site...not as red anymore though!

Must. Eat. Better!

I started Weight Watchers in the spring because I gained a little too much chub over the winter with not eating healthy and not being as active. The stress of trying to get pregnant took a toll on my diet and I know it isn't an excuse, but I am definitely an emotional eater.

 I had been doing well on Weight Watchers and had actually lost 7lbs (halfway to my goal), and then I stopped losing and kept seeing the same weight every week! I know it is better than gaining, but I was being strict with my WW points and not over eating or eating bad foods and it was really discouraging to see my weight unchanging. Of course when I got discouraged, I got a little mad and stopped being strict with my points (what's the point if it isn't working?) and then we went on our trip and any attempt at watching what I ate went out the window!

Now that we are back, I am trying to get back to following my points in hopes of losing a few more pounds (on top of re-losing what I gained back during our trip!), but I have in the back of my mind that since I will be starting my injections on Saturday, I am going to be stressed and cranky and will not want to be bothered with "dieting".

I am determined to at least try to continue with Weight Watchers while doing my IVF, and maybe trying new recipes will be a welcomed distraction! I have gotten back to points this week, but have been lazy about cooking and just eating small meals we had that I could bake or microwave really quickly. Tonight, I decided to get back to my cooking and I made some buffalo chicken mac and cheese muffins with parmesan roasted green beans! Delicious and the muffins are only 4 points each!

Friday, I go in bright and early to get my blood work done to make sure I have ovulated (which like I have said, I should have!) and then I will officially be starting the first injections. I may have just a little over 24 hours before I am all in and can't turn back. Super nervous and I hope I surprise myself by not finding the injections difficult, especially since J is squeamish and I don't know if I trust him to do them correctly!                    

 

 

***And for the skeptics, I totally cook all of my meals!  :-)

 

 

 

             

Meds arrived! Ahhh!

 

So my IVF medications arrived today, through my mail-order pharmacy and it is very overwhelming! I took an IVF class with my RE and they taught us all about how to prepare the injections, what needles to use and how to mix everything, but now that I am seeing everything in front of me at once, I have no idea what to do! There are multiple bags with different sized needles and syringes and I forget which one goes to which medication! I also feel like I wasn't given enough alcohol swabs for making sure everything is sanitized before and I am going to be seriously anal about that!

Going a little crazy right now and I know my doctor will go over each medication as I am meant to start it, but I am supposed to start the Lupron injections Friday or Saturday and I want to know EXACTLY what to do before then!

New Jersey to Indiana....and a few states in between.

 

 

Trixy makes a good pillow.

Thought I'd finally do a post for our road trip last week. This will mostly be a photo dump, but we had a fun (and tiring) time in Indiana and were happy to spend some time with Bil, Sil and of course our nephew! J, Parker, Trixy and I hit the road on Saturday morning and got to Indiana on Sunday afternoon, after a few stops along the way!

Getting on the road!

Trixy ready for her trip!

 

The drive was LONG and we hit some bad weather on the way there which made me a little anxious, but we were happy that Parker did so well in the car! We stopped at a hotel after our first 10 hours or so of driving Parker enjoyed his first hotel experience and he really loved the king bed!

Thunderstorms entering Ohio

First Hotel Room!

 

Trixy enjoying a king bed

 

The first day of driving was mostly just rest stops for everyone to stretch their legs, but on day two, we managed to hit up a few things in Louisville, KY before getting to Indiana.

Trixy with the World's Largest Bat



Parker outside the Louisville Slugger Museum

A gold statue of David in Louisville



Being silly in Louisville

Parker and David



Mirror dish outside Science Museum, Louisville

Parker the Mer-man

Parker outside Jerry's Junk

ET Phoning home at Jerry's Junk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking out over the Ohio River

For those that are curious, Jerry's Junk was a home in Louisville, KY. The link to some information about Jerry and his eclectic home is below.
   

  
 http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/20850


 

After Louisville, we made the last hour and a    half drive to Evansville, IN. I was so excited to see baby S. since he turns two in a few weeks and we hadn't see him since our wedding in May 2012!


Getting some cuddles! Parker getting a little jelly...

Parker enjoyed the extra attention from his "aunt and uncle", but baby S. made him a little nervous and he spent a lot of time running away from his toy cars and wagons! Good thing babies don't come out as rowdy toddlers because I think Parker definitely needs to be eased in to wagons and blocks and kids jumping on him!

While we were in Indiana, we hit up Holiday World theme park, explored the town of Santa Claus, IN and enjoyed 4th of July celebrations on the river front in Evansville. We enjoyed lots of wine and also ate way too much junk food and needless to say, my weight watchers is back in full force now that we are home!

Santa in July




Love dippin dots

So bad for me, but oh so good!

 

Beautiful sunset on the river



Pink Sky

Air show before fireworks





Fireworks at home...made me nervous

 



Getting brave with the sparklers.

       

Sparkler

Visit to a winery in KY



Delicious sangria!

Grapes in the vineyard

Lucy stomping grapes



We hit a few more stops on our drive back, since we didn't see too much on our initial drive and we decided that we may have to make a longer stop in Kentucky the next time we visit the family. For anyone in the area, we recommend the Kentucky Horse Park. You can see the pride they take in their horses in Kentucky and the park was a lovely stroll and Parker was even allowed to walk around!

Beautiful Kentucky Horse Park



Looking at the horse statue



10 week old miniature horse

Trolley ride



Hanging out by the horse stride measurements



Meeting Albion, the English Shire horse

Capital Building in Charleston, WV

Guess they race a lot in West Virginia



                       



Made one more evening stop in Charleston, WV before making it home!














Here are just the states we went through on our road trip. I tried to get every state sign, but missed New Jersey's because I was so tired by then!

Ohio



Kentucky



West Virginia



Pennsylvania



Maryland

***Sorry this is such a ramble and the photos are disorganized! I couldn't figure out how to line them up evenly! Hope you enjoy the photos!