I wish my Seahorses would give me a sign that they are still in there and have settled in, but I feel absolutely zero symptoms and that makes me even more worried. I know that logically, I wouldn't necessarily feel anything yet, since it is still super early, but I was hoping for a sign and too bad Seahorses can't talk yet!
I don't know if it is just my brain trying to prepare for the worst, but I can't keep my faith now and I just feel like it didn't work and my Seahorses are already gone. The not knowing leaves a tiny glimmer of hope, of course, so I don't want that to be taken away by reality...realities of infertility suck big hairy balls!
Preparing for the worst or not, I will still be devastated and lose all hope of ever having my own, biological child, since clearly I have an egg quality issue as it is and my insurance will officially be cutting us off from any more IVF tries, so there's that problem too.
AHHHH!! All of these things in my head! How do people stay so positive about negative things!? I wish I was one of those Zen people. They seem like magical unicorns that can handle anything...I want to be a freakin unicorn too!
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| My inner unicorn... |
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| Positive people's inner unicorns! |
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In other news, I get this IPSY "Glam Bag" every month and I got my November one today! So that always makes me feel a bit better! I love getting mail! Even if I have to pay for it myself! It was all makeup this month, which means I have to learn how to do my makeup to actually look all pretty and glamorous...but it's still fun to get surprises every month!
*Now I just have to let that little glimmer believe that I will get another GOOD surprise this month too. UGH!
Hugs and FX for you <3 <3 <3 When is beta day?
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